I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
