i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
