There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
