There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
