i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Semen is not good for contacts.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
