atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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