So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
