Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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