It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
