if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
