then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
