1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
