I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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