I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
