Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
