Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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