fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
the liver wants what the liver wants
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
i think i just lost a toe
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
