I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
