There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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