i wish starbucks made bloody marys
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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