Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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