dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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