Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just had sex on a roof
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
