haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
