do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
