There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Randomize
