just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
