so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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