soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize