I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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