It's Friday. Sex?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
