I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
