Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
