is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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