Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
i now understand why vodka
Randomize
