I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
