They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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