Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
