Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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