I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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