I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
So many bounce houses so little time
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
