if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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