ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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