I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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