I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
