At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
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I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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