just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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