make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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