and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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