Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
