Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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