wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
