Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
