I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
