Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I want to fling myself into the sun
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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