it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
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Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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