I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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