it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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