you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
